Lilliputian Accidental Dischargers , the Gun Just Went Off!


Ft Collins, CO –-( Last week, a California school-teacher, who is also a local reserve police officer, and an outspoken anti-gun Democrat, brought his issue-G21 to a school classroom to serve as a “prop” during his now-famous “gun-safety lecture!”

While sternly warning his charges of the inherent danger to guns, the teacher casually pointed his pistol at the ceiling and pressed the trigger!

The GLOCK G21 in question functioned flawlessly, of course, and launched a round upward, causing significant property damage and slight injury to a student.

The teacher has since apologized for his “accident,” but has not elaborated.

We understand the balance of his “safety lecture” has been postponed indefinitely!

The media reported, of course, that the G21 “just went off,” as they apparently do now and then, absent any input from the person holding the pistol.

Yet another “immaculate discharge!”

However, unknown to the shooter, the media, nor the manufacturer, the real culprit is the “LAD (Lilliputian Accidental Dischargers)!”

Yes, just a millisecond prior to the UD in question, the local chapter of the LAD, a highly-skilled, well-oiled, worldwide, intra-gun gang that has established a presence inside all manufactured firearms, swung into action!

Using pint-size axes, hammers, and wrecking bars, the LADs collectively beat on the innards of that hapless Glock 21 until they heard a loud bang and smelled the odor of burned gunpowder.

Their task for the day complete, they reverted back to drinking Australian beer and telling war stories.

Dennis Alexander
Dennis Alexander, my gun just went off.

As they shamelessly imbibed, LADs sang, in perfect harmony, their anthem:

“We’re the LADs, inside your guns,
Mighty tiny, we’re hard to see,
Takin’ the heat, when guns unexpectedly ‘go bang,’
For a most reasonable, monthly fee,

Our job is to make your guns ‘just go off,’
We are talented gun-parts riggers,
With us inside your carried guns,
There’s just no need for triggers!

We’re expert witnesses, in civil suits,
‘Weasel-word masters,’ when in the courts,
We repeat, ad nauseam, ‘accidental,’
Read about it in media reports.

‘Negligent Discharges’ do not exist!
They’re figments of wild imaginations,
We LADs are inside all guns,
In all ‘No-one’s-accountable’ nations!”



About John Farnam & Defense Training International, IncDefense Training International, Inc

As a defensive weapons and tactics instructor John Farnam will urge you, based on your own beliefs, to make up your mind in advance as to what you would do when faced with an imminent lethal threat. You should, of course, also decide what preparations you should make in advance if any. Defense Training International wants to make sure that their students fully understand the physical, legal, psychological, and societal consequences of their actions or in-actions.

It is our duty to make you aware of certain unpleasant physical realities intrinsic to the Planet Earth. Mr. Farnam is happy to be your counselor and advisor. Visit: