Hypothetical Monster Destruction Post

With all the serious stuff we’ve had on here as of late I thought I’d put up one of Chefbear’s crazier posts.  Check out the post, then lock, load and enjoy.

-Jarhead Survivor


Hey guys, I asked Jarhead and RangerMan about doing a humorous/hypothetical post a while back, the topic I had in mind was “What would you use in a hypothetical situation where you had to kill some of the greatest movie monsters… EXCLUDING a nuke?” They both thought that it sounded like a decent topic, and I thought it might be nice to have a funny/less serious post to “lighten the mood” of some of the more serious posts we have had lately. So here goes the list that I had in mind, this list will take a little from several different genres and time periods of movies and television… and I am going to throw in some mythology, just for fun!


The creature from the black lagoon– Courtesy of Jarhead!

King Kong– Just a tip, old biplanes… probably not the way to go!

Michael Myers (horror movie guy, not Austin Powers guy… unless you REALLY just don’t like him!)

The Terminator– Arnold’s Terminator, not the crazy shape-shifting ones later in the trilogy

Magneto– from the X-Men comics, cartoon and movie (He can manipulate magnetic fields, bend metal with though, levitate himself using the Earth’s magnetic field and is cunning as hell!)

Darth Vader– He’s going to be tough, remember he survived several slashes with a light saber, burned by lava, and basically got his butt SERIOUSLY kicked by a Jedi

Medusa– remember you can’t look straight at her! To make it a bit tougher, let’s go with Perseus rules here… This means that you have to keep her head intact (to slay the Kraken!). By the way, did you know in the original story her blood was like acid and it was poison, so if you use something that could cause you to come in contact with the blood, you’re done!

Godzilla– Just imagine, the Japanese have had enough to deal with over the last month so they told that over-grown iguana to take a hike, so he decided to show up on your towns “doorstep”! Godzilla

So, given this list of monsters, villains and mythological creatures what would you use to dispatch them?


#1- NO NUKES ALLOWED! What’s the point of eliminating the threat, if it means widespread destruction (possibly worse than what the monster/villain would have caused) and we don’t need radioactive fallout killing our gardens that we started/are starting this spring right?!

#2- Weaponry from the movies/stories is OK, even if it doesn’t really exist… but I think you guys can do better than that

#3- One weapon probably will not work for all of them, so think about it carefully! (ex. A rail gun might work for everyone else, but would be useless against Magneto because he can manipulate the magnetic field used to power it or just redirect the projectile to take you out!)

#4- A complete description of the destruction your choice of arsenal would provide is not necessary… unless you want to of course.

#5- While a complete break-down is not needed try to give rationale behind your choice of weaponry

#6- Sure you could use some super-weapon from the movies (ex. The “Death Star”), but I think you guys have more imagination than that! If you think, and apply your imagination tactically to the problem, you could probably use something small to take down even the worst of those on the list, think David v Goliath except with explosives and BIG GUNS!!!

#7- You don’t have to use a single weapon for each “monster”, I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer gear/weapons/anything that can multi-task.

I hope you guys like this topic, I know I am getting a kick out of just trying to imagine what yall will come up with and it’s a nice change from writing about skills/techniques all the time (not that I mind doing that at all). Personally, I am looking forward to the inventive ideas I know will come out of this topic, and lets have fun with this one guys!

**P.S. The purpose of this post is not just to have a few good laughs. This topic should help to spur your imagination, and help you think “outside the box”, which will probably prove beneficial in the future!**